When you’re the little kid holding hands and jumping into the pool, you fully trust the other guy, you’re honest with your word. You jump.
But after that one time when the other guy doesn’t jump with you…when you feel laughed at, do you become the guy who doesn’t jump?
“I’ll trust them as soon as they prove their worth it”.
Will that work? How else to do that except to jump when you said you would? ‘Cause when you don’t jump, you’re the liar and the one not to be trusted.
What’s the downside to being in the pool on a hot day anyway? So what if you’re alone because your the only guy who jumps.
Coach, create a culture where everyone agrees that honesty and being true to their word is the thing–that jumping is only the mechanism.
What if that was the question we asked?
How can I help other guy?
What does this kid need from me as a coach? What am I going to do to move this situation forward?
We all have a narrative about what’s ok and what’s not, who is “good” and who’s not, but how often do we think about what’s actually best for the other guy? Now.
Of course what’s best for the team might be different. Then the questions change.
Recently, I went on a paid excursion in which there were a few add-on things for sale. Like wetsuits for snorkeling in the really warm waters of a tropical place.
“I really recommend it,” says the young guide who has become our friend on the microphone. She had gained our trust and so many forked over the $ rental fee for the wetsuit top and felt smarter for doing so.
That got me thinking about trust, and following people without feeling the waters. Literally. How do you become the person others trust? Is it your voice, your knowledge, your reputation? What needs to happen to damage that or make others doubt you? Can those things turn on a dime?
If you want to be trusted, or need to be trusted, what do you have to say, or do, or be? Is that enough?
As always, I encourage you to think these things thru. Use your #10minsaday
Making your goals and dreams public is exciting and probably makes you nervous. What if people don’t like your ideas or think you can’t do something (you KNEW it)? Sharing is risky.
That’s exactly why you should do it. Take a piece of your work and share it with your team. Ask them to honestly assess, or just watch their reactions. If it seems as if they can’t be forthcoming in response then you have a trust problem, not a communication problem. Open yourself up and insist on detailed feedback. This will likely be challenging for everyone.
Model acceptance of honesty. Say out loud that you think honesty equals respect. Ask for it, take it, give it back.