in some sports “the defense” scores points, although their main role is to stop the other guy from scoring points. In some, like softball and baseball, there is no way to post on the scoreboard when your team is in the field.
You can only win when you attack. On offense. Find a way to have a strategy on offense that you love, that everyone is bought in to, that speaks “we’re in control”.
Defense is a tone setter, but not scorer. Even if you’re great on D, you can only be totally in control if you have a strategy that allows you to control on attack.
Get to work.
Who’s missing, and who’s not? There is FOMO, Fear of Missing Out, and there is reverse FOMO…the idea that you’re doing something great, and someone is missing it.
When you wonder why people don’t want to do what you’re doing. When you invite someone and they decline. Do you worry about those people too much and not enjoy yourself as much as you could?
Our obsession with the past and the future, our challenge to enjoy who we are and who we are with at this moment, to be satisfied, period. It’s so easy to get excited about the things our future self is going to do, or to reminisce of times gone by. It’s somehow harder to just enjoy. THIS IS GREAT!, right now, is good enough.
Take time to enjoy those who are there, with you, to make the most of your moment and save your emotional energy for those missing for the next time you see them.
It’s ok for “it” to be less than perfect.
People in cultures from all corners of the world swaddle their infants. They wrap them tightly in material so that the baby is constrained yet comfortable.
Arms tight to their sides, just their face clear for breathing, the child is soothed by the containment. It’s like a long-term hug, the comfort of being right where they are and their brains not having to consider much outside the swaddling material.
Entire teams can be swaddled, comforted by the feeling of being surrounded by known people, expectations and norms. Being accepted by those around you and understanding the clear rules and standards of a team offers the comfort of familiarity even if circumstances or relationships are challenging, or may sometimes feel personally constraining.
Are your team members given wide-open freedom to do what they think they should do or are they guided–gently but surely–by the comfort of clear team standards?
Is your way working?