College

Many athletes think about and plan for their four years in College. It’s scripted in our minds and we can see the good times, the wins, the classes, the friends the bus rides…

We know that it might not turn out exactly as we envision it, but it’s likely to be great. We’ll start, be healthy, maybe even make all-star teams and win championships.

Get strong, get sleep, be ready. It’s gonna be great.

Ok, have a plan B, too.

Enjoy.

How Much Connection Is Enough?

In these unusual times the world is talking a lot about connection. How do we replace in-person connection with virtual or other forms of connection?

Is there a limit, or an ideal amount of communication or connection on a team?

Is it bad that I’m tired of Zoom?

This got me thinking about the types of connection on teams in “regular” circumstances. Should every team member have a tight connection with every other team member? Is this a reasonable goal on any sized team? Here are two models of connection; both have TEAM in the middle.

#1 has solid connections between each and every team member. These connections pass thru the team each time.

#2 shows each team member having a solid connection to the team. Is this enough?

Feedback

For over 30 years I’ve been coaching college athletes, and each of those years they spend some time near the end of the season writing evaluations. These can be simply checking of boxes, or that plus writing anonymous (usually) comments.

This is consistently the saddest day of my year.

Win or lose, a season is an incredible emotional investment for all. At the end, all coaches hope that players have had a “good experience”. We want them to have grown and learned how to play as a member of a team. We don’t always tell them that, however.

Players seem to have developed this sense that college coaches are there to serve their personal development first and foremost, just as their private and paid coaches have done for their youth career.

Of course they do!

This is the experience they’ve had in sports–most youth “showcase” teams are NOT there to be a great team, they are there to get kids opportunities after they leave that team. So, why do we expect them to change their perspective just because?

College coaches need to frame the experience that’s upcoming when they join a program. This should be done in the recruiting process, and made clear again and again.

It probably doesn’t include a coach offering non-stop individual feedback , so let’s be sure everyone is clear.

We should stop saying, “they should know how to put the team first,” when most kids have very little experience with this.

What Does She Need?

What if that was the question we asked?

How can I help other guy?

What does this kid need from me as a coach? What am I going to do to move this situation forward?

We all have a narrative about what’s ok and what’s not, who is “good” and who’s not, but how often do we think about what’s actually best for the other guy? Now.

Of course what’s best for the team might be different. Then the questions change.

To Connect or Not

As a raging extrovert, I get sad and tired when I’m alone for too long.

It’s a status that some have a hard time understanding, and I have to work to get it when people say that they are overwhelmed with the act of being social.

There is no right nor wrong here, and working to understand what you need and celebrate that is a key to happiness.

Creating a team of people who share culture, language and a common lens, as well as goals, is easier when you realize that it’s not about the “kind of person” that’s a fit.

The kind of person a good team needs is the kind that commits to the culture, language and goals.

Simple, not easy.

Building Culture is Simple

  1. Pour the foundation.  What are you all about, Coach? ID your drivers, your values, the things that you insist upon, or wish you did.
  2. Frame it.  Determine the language and lens that you’ll use to see the creation of the program and team.  What are the critical pieces?  There is no shame in asking your people here either. Get consensus, have great conversations.
  3. Get the tools in line & get everyone to agree on the floor plan.  Determine what the finished product will look like if it’s great.
  4. Decorate.  What’s this season’s slogan? Do you have a hashtag? A secret handshake? A goal that everyone can get in line with?

Number 1 is mostly driven by the leader. The head coach, the person at the top.  YOU must have an idea of the central principles by which you’ll drive the program and from there you can, and should, include all of the important people.

Start there.  Simple.  Not easy.

Principle #7 Monsters In the Corner

Did you ever notice that when you shine a flashlight under the bed, or simply turn on the lights, that the boogeyman disappears?

If you have issue in your operation or in any relationship, it works to turn on the lights. Illuminate the concerns, even if you are unsure who is “right” or what the “right” thing to do is.

State the facts, solicit opinions, and see if bringing it out in the open helps to give you ideas as to how to proceed.

“The thing to do” is often super clear after you get a good look at the problem.  Reflect on your values and the lens at which you see the world, and a course of action will show itself.

 

Principle #102 – It’s How You Make Them Feel

One of the conversations that has stuck with me for over ten years…

“Coach, I figured something out,” she said one April morning. “I’m so used to coaches being the one who yelled at us and made us run, I never thought of them as being on the same team as us.”

She was shocked when she felt support from her college coach.

It’s doubtful that all of her coaches before that were “against” her and her teammates, or that yelling was the top activity.

Yet, she FELT that way…the prevailing FEELING about coaches was of being criticized, “yelled at”, even if voices weren’t raised, and of being on the other side.

Recognize how people feel in your presence. Your words may not be as important as you think.

Problems, part 1

What is a problem? Is this thing that’s happening or not happening actually a problem?  Perhaps the reality is just the reality and you’re making it a problem for you (and maybe for others)?

Once those simple questions are answered then we can get to work on finding solutions if we need to.

One solution might be to stop allowing the situation to be a problem for you. Perhaps your mind is allowing this thing to intrude and impact you in a negative way, making it an issue for you when it need not be.

If that’s not the case then work to clearly define the issue and get to work.