I love the simplicity of Dr. Phil’s primary question,
“how’s that working out for you?”.
Really, how’s are your decisions impacting your life?
We make lots of decisions, chose to go right or left, stay home or go out, send the runner or play it safe…yet we often think that the things that happen to us are random.
It’s not a knock on you to ask how it’s going, it’s simply an honest ask. What’s your current situation and how do you feel?
How are things going for you? What’s “working out” in your favor, and what seems to be holding you back.
Ask. Ask again. Be honest.
Good coaching, is two things, IMO:
Find out what’s required for success (define that, too) and what drives people (especially yourself).
Then boil down all of the things that your team will need to achieve the standards you decide upon, be clear about what’s expected along the way, and get going.
Start with a notebook and an open heart.
Oh yeah, everyone thinks that’s the right thing to do.
Everyone says it’s true.
I’ll get everyone together and we’ll get it done.
Is “everyone” really all of the people? Who’s important, and who is optional to be in the group of everyone?
If you need everyone on board you better be sure that everyone knows what’s happening. And if you don’t need everyone then just ask the people who are crucial.
Yes, you know better.
Your experience has allowed you to learn so much and you can really help by telling your people what they don’t know.
Spending lots of time telling people what to do next and how to do it is your speciality and man, does it work! Your people are off and running.
Running away! Being talked at is not a successful way to improve skills. Maybe you even talk about growth mindset and how experience is the best way to learn…and yet you don’t allow your people to make mistakes and learn by experience.
Yes, you, Coach.
Talk less, ask more and let’s see what they come up with.
Recently, I went on a paid excursion in which there were a few add-on things for sale. Like wetsuits for snorkeling in the really warm waters of a tropical place.
“I really recommend it,” says the young guide who has become our friend on the microphone. She had gained our trust and so many forked over the $ rental fee for the wetsuit top and felt smarter for doing so.
That got me thinking about trust, and following people without feeling the waters. Literally. How do you become the person others trust? Is it your voice, your knowledge, your reputation? What needs to happen to damage that or make others doubt you? Can those things turn on a dime?
If you want to be trusted, or need to be trusted, what do you have to say, or do, or be? Is that enough?
As always, I encourage you to think these things thru. Use your #10minsaday
What are the “rules” of coaching?
Do you need to have a handbook? A playbook?
A set of 4-10 pillars that you stand by/live by/teach by?
Is player buy-in the most important thing?
What about “knowing yourself”?
Are you allowed to change your mind? Do you have to change your mind?
You do know that there are secrets out there that only a few have access to, right?
Some of any of these things is probably a good thing…and the wrong ones only invite you to keep working on being better. Isn’t that what we ask our players to do?
No wrong answer. No right answer. I’m just going to keep asking questions.
What if you did the work to know what was truly important to you?
What if you saw all of your actions thru a lens of the values you believe deeply in? What if you really knew what those were?
What if you worked hard to really value the impact of your actions based upon higher values that winning and losing? It might work.
Keep doing, and work harder on being.