The social media era we live in allows so much great, positive and useful sharing of knowledge.
It also allows us to regurgitate others’ ideas without thought of what WE think, and how this idea might impact OUR work.
I’ve resolving to stop simply “liking” or “sharing” quotes, concepts or articles I see online. It’s too easy and I’m not getting the most out of it, nor are my teams or others who pay attention to the things I post (if there is anyone on that list!?).
So, I will consider and at the very least comment on these things so that I gain insight into what I really care about, become more judicious in my sharing and most importantly, develop my own WHO and WHY more fully.
Goals are important, action plans and affirmations can “work”, for sure.
But, it’s what you actually DO that is who you are.
You can wish for things, plan for future events, dictate your future in a journal, business plan or season itinerary.
But, it’s what you actually DO that matters.
You may say that you care about your players. A lot. You might actually, in your heart, care a lot. But unless you show them that, unless you show up for them in ways that matter to them, you aren’t really that caring coach that you think you are.
Look at your current actions to see what really matters to you, and plan your future actions to prove it.
When someone says, “it’s personal”, they usually mean that they don’t want to talk about that it.
It’s often used as a replacement for, “none of your business”, or “leave me alone”.
So, let’s say what we mean.
Almost everything we talk about is personal. Most humans talk about their own thoughts & feelings more than anything else.
No more using “it’s personal” as an excuse. Be precise with your language.
The English word COACH is deemed to have been derived from the coach that was pulled by horses decades ago. The town in Hungary that is credited with this invention was called Kocs.
So, the word as we use it in sports and other types of coaching is a metaphor for getting things or people from one place to another. This is the job of a coach.
There are skills involved, mostly really, really human skills like listening, planning, caring, listening (yes, again) and figuring out how to get people to work to make themselves a more highly functioning person, either on their own or in a group/team setting.
Those skills are often overlooked when considered alongside knowledge sets like “knowing the game”, strategy and sport tactics. This second group of things is important, but without the first it’s challenging to really grow people to help make the world a better place.
How will you move people along?
As a raging extrovert, I get sad and tired when I’m alone for too long.
It’s a status that some have a hard time understanding, and I have to work to get it when people say that they are overwhelmed with the act of being social.
There is no right nor wrong here, and working to understand what you need and celebrate that is a key to happiness.
Creating a team of people who share culture, language and a common lens, as well as goals, is easier when you realize that it’s not about the “kind of person” that’s a fit.
The kind of person a good team needs is the kind that commits to the culture, language and goals.
Simple, not easy.
Your job, my job, our job in the world is to add value to others.
Think about what you have to offer and offer it.
See what happens.
People have to sign things in order to participate. From elementary school to the NCAA, one can’t participate unless they agree to do or not do certain things. This we (mostly) easily accept, and regardless, the rules are really clear.
You likely have written rules for your team, no matter what type of team it is. Perhaps a handbook, employee guide, posters in the lockerroom or a contract to sign.
On the flip side, many of us have more unwritten rules than written ones. “Work hard”, “show respect”, “be a good teammate”, are all big picture unwritten rules.
Does everyone on your team know exactly what is meant by those unwritten rules? Do you know?
Perhaps you also have some that are similar to these: “freshman do the grunt work”, or “the head coach is always right”.
It’s time well spent to investigate and know what the unwritten rules are on your team–you may not even know that they exist–and to clarify the ones you like. Even more importantly, shine light on the ones that are not valid or helpful to your team (“we drink a lot on Saturday nights”), and rid your team of these unhelpful rules.
Did you ever notice that when you shine a flashlight under the bed, or simply turn on the lights, that the boogeyman disappears?
If you have issue in your operation or in any relationship, it works to turn on the lights. Illuminate the concerns, even if you are unsure who is “right” or what the “right” thing to do is.
State the facts, solicit opinions, and see if bringing it out in the open helps to give you ideas as to how to proceed.
“The thing to do” is often super clear after you get a good look at the problem. Reflect on your values and the lens at which you see the world, and a course of action will show itself.
When something goes wrong we often ask a version of this question: “why did they do that?”
This speaks to intention, that the person planned to screw it up, the “why?” implying that they wanted to make a bad decision. Of course, sabotage might be in play, but usually it’s a given that the person was not motivated to do things poorly.
Errors of all kinds come from a lot of angles. Typically, lack of focus or attention to detail, lack of skill, or poor preparation.
Coaches should understand this and teach focus in addition to skill and strategy, and look to ourselves to ask how we can better prepare our people.
There is no such thing as “not doing anything wrong” on a team or at work. If someone is saying that, they’re probably doing something wrong.
If you are not giving, you are taking away. Energy is a zero sum game.
When you answer, “it’s going”, or “as good as can be expected,” when asked how you are, you are violating the No Neutral rule.
Be mindful of your projected energy.