When you sit in the exit row on a plane you are required to give a verbal commitment.
You commit, by agreeing out loud, to do all you can to help the entire set of passengers get out in case of an emergency.
When you say “yes”, you’re saying, “I’m prepared to be a leader,” and to do what the 143 or 175 or 300 others need you to do, according to the specific instructions.
The others are on your team. You’re sharing an experience and have the same set of guidelines. For the duration of the flight you are a team.
As a leader your get some more leg room. That’s it. It may or may not be worth it. And even if you’re in the middle in the last row, the flight will be better if you are on board with the rules of being on board.
Plain old stink. It’s painful.
Those who can find the good in the suck are plentiful, and I admire that. And, sometimes there isn’t any silver lining.
And that’s ok, too.
Being able to both feel the pain and get past it (not get over it, just past) is not always easy but, as always, time doesn’t care about your pain.
Keep working. Have a system that doesn’t get derailed by failure. Otherwise you don’t really have a system.
What do you do?
It’s a question many of us ask and get asked all the time. How do you answer?
Do you say, “I plan practices,” or “I read and sometimes respond to incredible numbers of emails”?
As a coach you likely say some version of “I’m the _____ coach at ______,” or “I coach [insert sport here]”. That sounds like who you are more than what you do. Which is it?
Do you care about the difference?
Saying, “I create the conditions in which people and teams learn to inspire others with action and empathy,” seems a bit much…but that’s a great thing to be. It’s who I am, I am the one who builds such a set of conditions.
There’s a lot to DO, but I’d rather BE.
Are we at the end of history or the beginning of the future? Perhaps neither, we’re just here?
In many ways people think that “today” is the best version of a thing, idea, product, etc. that’s possible. Of course we know that things are changing, that evolution of that thing or idea has occurred, but we often accept the way we do it as the final answer.
What if we were able to view each day simply as an opportunity to make the thing even better tomorrow? If the thing was a relationship with ourself or another, a team or a player…could this be a dose of optimism that might propel us even further?
I’m all for planning. At times I feel a slave to my calendar. A slave because I’m constantly looking to see what’s coming up. Today, this week, next month…I think it makes me feel valuable to see that I’m busy.
I’m working on it.
I also preach planning. But, I’m not a big fan of creating a long-term vision for everything. Some big things need a long-term plan, and having far away goals and interim goals and keeping track of your progress is a good thing.
But, it seems that too often we don’t simply get to work.
Start doing something and see how it goes, what it leads you to next. If you plan to start, when do actually start?
Go. Then see what you learn and go some more.
Resilience is overplayed these days. Everywhere I turn someone is telling me to bounce back, get the next one, look for the ways to rebound…
First, I’m all for making mistakes, and wallowing in them for a while probably isn’t so bad for us.
Why the hurry to get back to perfect, or pretty, or the way the world tells us we should be?
Bad hops are gonna happen. Turn around and chase down the loose ball–if you’re in the game there’s not a fungo hitter ready to hit you another.
Who’s listening to you? Do you have a place to vent that’s productive for you? What is productive, anyway?
I say go for it. Vent away!
While you’re there, listen for the undercurrents (or ask someone to listen to/for you) of what’s really going on. What does this rant say about what you value, what you really care about.
The clues are in there. Just like the world is asking us to slow down and listen to others, let’s practice intentionally listening to ourselves.
How often do you ask people to come in from outside your immediate organization and watch you work? What could a new set of eyes see about your work that might make you more effective?
Most of us likely will answer, “I don’t know,” to this query because we’ve never asked.
It’s on my list. Who wants to come to practice??
#1 coaching skill?
What do you want to know about the situation your person is in? What’s going on for them and how does that fit in for the team?
A genuine wonder works wonders.
We ask players to do it out side of formal team sessions, we know that our kids should get time in after piano lessons, people go to the driving range (not me, but some people)…do you practice the skill of coaching?
Do you work on your question-asking skill and train your eye with extra video work? Do you talk to the other coaches in your organization about the things they do that work for them regarding the infrastructure of coaching, not just the problem-of-the-day?
Find ways to get in the coaching gym and improve your skills. This is just as important as you technical knowledge.
Doing this is closely related to learning how to fail, just as we we ask our kids. You’re likely going to ask a yes/no question when you wanted more detail, or design a conversation that falls flat. Great!
Keep practicing being a coach. It’s more than doing coaching.