A few weeks ago I wondered, not for the first time, why we value the New Year. Why does the turn of the calendar have such an impact on what we think about our future, or our past?
It was mid-December and I was already watching people wish away weeks of time just to talk about the things their future self would (might) decide to do.
I would like to say that that was confusing but really it’s not. The future-self concept explains it all. We are always excited about our possibilities, the things we’ll get to “when…”.
Sitting here I’m guilty as charged. I have great hopes and dreams, and I suppose that many of them will come true. If only my future self lives up!
I am resolute. I’m unwavering in my support of my future self. Proud, actually, is the word for how I feel about upcoming self. THAT person will get shit done. Full stop.
So, I know the holes in my game are many, and I know that I’ll keep working, resolutely, to do the things I can’t wait to get to. I know that the reality may or may not match the dream, but that’s keeping it real, and doing my best in the moment. This moment.
The punctuation makes all the difference.
Caring a lot about the experiences of the people around me and being truly curious as to how things are happening for them is a key to being a Capital C Coach.
I start by asking myself what I’d really like to know. Rather than “how can I help,” I ask, “what does the situation need from me?” as help might not be the thing. Quite often the answer is “nothing”.
Curiosity helps me to slow down and ask rather than tell. It’s challenging for the head coach to think they may not be responsible for all of the answers…it’s also a weight lifted to realize we’re not.
Helping myself allows me to help my people. My curious approach reminds me that not everyone approaches things they way I do, and to slow down and truly wonder means I can be of greater help with less effort.
Win-win is a great place to land. I wonder what you think?
Work harder. Dig deeper. Find it within you!
So many messages around us say that we can just do it; it’s not that hard if you make a plan and try… you’ll find it within yourself.
What if it’s not true that working harder will make it happen? If the digging and the searching inward doesn’t yield the answers, and perhaps never will?
What if we need each other, if the answers lie in reaching out as much as looking inward?
This one is a rule that’s being broken in our current times. The era of COVID-19 is providing rare situations for certain.
The exceptions don’t make the rule invalid, however. Most things are not unique; even large scale pandemics have happened and we might learn from those instances. For sure we can learn from our personal, more day-to-day happenings.
When challenges present themselves look for examples of previous similar happenings and see what you can learn from those.
Most things are not rare.
So, there is probably a really good way to do the thing that you need to do. Others have done it before, I’m sure, and you can get a lot from their experience.
You can research the best way to do this thing, you can rely on your own experience or you can ask a friend.
In my experience, I find that relying on my own best practices, for that thing or other similar things I’ve done before, is the best way to get a satisfactory result.
If I think about the way I like to do things, the way the best things have worked out for me, I find that there aren’t really an unlimited way to do things…
So, do something, see how it feels when it’s done, redo it, and go from there.
The best way to practice, is to practice.
Possible? When you reach that place you call best, is there no better?
Thinking about superlatives…I think that they are overused.
So many things are the best ever, or will never work and get things done every time.
I’m ok with my best now and seeing what happens the next time.
The best kind of learning is that which we can be or do rather than hear or think about.
Teaching is about offering opportunities to try (and fail?), to experiment and to experience.
Of course “students” can do these things without the teacher, too. Providing the conditions for these experiences is a great boost to the learning possibilities, but it’s not necessary.
Pupils will learn about what they care about.
Direct, question, massage the experience and be a great teacher because your people are great learners.