What Are You Afraid Of?

Stress, fear, that uncomfortable feeling when _________.

So many things can fill in that blank. We all have fear and are worried about our future.

“What’s going to happen next?”

I find that the fear response comes when my mind doesn’t know what to do. When I’m not properly prepared.

I don’t need to have the right answer at the right time, every time, I simply need to have a plan.

Preparation is productive if only to be ready when the time comes, even if it turns out I’m wrong.

Avoiding the prep because I might be wrong never works.

What’s It Cost?

New tires for your car might not be in your budget at first glance. But, is having a car that’s drivable of value to you? If you don’t have tires you don’t have a car, really.

Usually we ask about the price rather than the value. To us. At this time. That’s really the question.

If a thing or service is valuable to us at this time, we’ll find a way to cover the costs.

What do you need that will really add value in your world?

I Have An Open Door Policy

Coach, your open door policy only means people can see in as they walk by.

Kids aren’t going to simply stop by to talk about all of the important things.

No matter how young you are, this “they know where to find me” mentality is abdicating your responsibilities as a leader. You’re saying that it’s on them, the junior partner in this relationship, to seek you out, to even know when they need something from you.

It’s on you to be sure that they are doing ok, that they know what you and team membership requires of them, to know where they stand relative to the team standards (those are really clear, right?)…

Leadership is an activity.

Go With Your Strengths*

Should you work on your weaknesses or bolster your strengths?

Do you know what pieces of your game are in those categories? Are they the same as they were at some point in the past? Does it matter?

How about considering the things that are central to who you are, making decisions about what direction to go in and then doing what you said you would?

Too often we spend time and energy thinking about what we’ll think about and little time doing things and learning from the outcomes.

Go.

Experience

Most often we think of experiences as nouns.

They are things that happen to or around us, or even events or activities that we take part in or get to be a part of.

That was a great experience!

Let’s try to celebrate and embrace the verb experience, to really feel the things, to be active in the doing.

By being present in the experiencing might we shape it, feel it more deeply and allow it to shape us? Maybe we’ll learn more about how to help others experience these things, or make the next time even more impactful.

…seems better than just talking about it later.

How Many Pillars Is Enough?

What are the “rules” of coaching?

Do you need to have a handbook? A playbook?

A set of 4-10 pillars that you stand by/live by/teach by?

Is player buy-in the most important thing?

What about “knowing yourself”?

Are you allowed to change your mind? Do you have to change your mind?

You do know that there are secrets out there that only a few have access to, right?

Some of any of these things is probably a good thing…and the wrong ones only invite you to keep working on being better. Isn’t that what we ask our players to do?

No wrong answer. No right answer. I’m just going to keep asking questions.

Hard To Look At

“Warts and all”, is a phrase we use to mean that we accept the failings and the shortcomings of those we love or appreciate, or, perhaps, need.

We don’t typically, however, use this phrase when we talk about ourselves. The “warts” that we know we have (how did warts get such a bad name anyway?) somehow don’t even make it to the front of the stage to get mention when we’re talking our us…or me, or myself.

It’s challenging to look for faults in ourselves. If we knew of them we would have fixed them! Or, would we? Maybe it’s acceptance that takes the place of introspection or deliberation of such faults.

Make time, front of your mind time, to examine the “warts” in your world, to look at the ways you fall short or are lacking.

As we look at our own pains or the holes in our game we may realize that they are either not so bad, or easier to fix than we thought. Either way, it’s liberating in a way to admit to these things, to say, “yes, I could/should/might be better in these ways.”