Rule #31

This one is a rule that’s being broken in our current times. The era of COVID-19 is providing rare situations for certain.

The exceptions don’t make the rule invalid, however. Most things are not unique; even large scale pandemics have happened and we might learn from those instances. For sure we can learn from our personal, more day-to-day happenings.

When challenges present themselves look for examples of previous similar happenings and see what you can learn from those.

Most things are not rare.

As You Said You Would

So, this is different…

We are being called upon to take personal responsibility personally. To actually put others first, not just talk about being a good team player and doing your best.

Not trying. Doing. Being the one who says, “this might not be exactly right, but i’m taking a chance,” or “follow me, although I might have it wrong, I’m doing it based upon important things I believe in.”

So, it’s not that different. These are things you preach all the time, Coach. This time, however, we’re really banking on you.

Weights

You’re busy. You’ve got a lot going on. You might have time next week…

Are the things on your to-do list weighing you down or are the providing an anchor that helps you to get things done?

Finding systems to do “the things” the way you’d like them to be done, in a repeatable fashion, is probably a good thing, and for sure examination of the system itself is important.

Start by making note of what you’d like the future to look like and go from there.

Everything Is ‘All In Your Head’

I got stuck in traffic and that made me mad.

That player isn’t working hard and that’s why I’m being a jerk to everyone else.

The sunrise made me happy.

Nope. It’s your brain at work, doing so many magical things on the inside.

There’s no “making” you feel anything.

Simply by recognizing that how you feel is not the other guys’ issue and owning the ability to not feel that way (no one is saying it’s easy) is powerful.

Working to recognize when you feel badly, or guilty, or stressed or any other sort of upset and embracing those feelings rather than pushing them away may help bring them down a couple of notches.

Short term planning

I’m all for planning. At times I feel a slave to my calendar. A slave because I’m constantly looking to see what’s coming up. Today, this week, next month…I think it makes me feel valuable to see that I’m busy.

I’m working on it.

I also preach planning. But, I’m not a big fan of creating a long-term vision for everything. Some big things need a long-term plan, and having far away goals and interim goals and keeping track of your progress is a good thing.

But, it seems that too often we don’t simply get to work.

Start doing something and see how it goes, what it leads you to next. If you plan to start, when do actually start?

Go. Then see what you learn and go some more.

Coaching is a Partnership of Caring

When I was building a short repeat-after-me mantra for my own use, something to remind myself of the who/why/what of myself as a coach, one of the phrases I used was this:

Coaching Is A Partnership of Caring

Coaching is a sacred role. Coaches work to help others realize their possibility and help a group become something greater than the individuals within. It’s not a simple role.

Partnership is a greatly important word. We are partners with others in many ways. We form partnerships with one or multiple people in an effort to be great, to feel support and to create.

The final big word is the key. Caring, to me, means putting someone else, or some external goal or idea “first”. By advantaging the outside goal or the other person we truly help to make them better. We care, and that puts us on their side, even when the caring feels hard or challenging.

I’m proud to be in a partnership with a lot of people who call me Coach. It’s where the magic of this profession lies.

Build better partnerships. Care more or more intentionally, or be sure your partners, your players, know where you stand on this.

Distraction

This scenario happens to me many times a day: I’m talking to someone on the phone and then a buzz comes in my ear, or theirs, and the primary conversation takes a hiccup.

“Um, yeah,” as one of us takes a quick glance at the phone to see what the notification needs from us.

It only takes a second. The conversation doesn’t stop…and yet we need to do a micro reboot. It does take away.

And, It happens a lot.

There’s lots of talk about the truth about one’s ability to multi-task. Can you actually do more than one thing at a time? Sure. Can you do them both well? Maybe. Or, probably not.

It’s not the thing that distracts you that matters, it’s the fact you’ve become distracted, no matter how short the time period or small the event. Check the science.

And, don’t even get me started with smartwatches.

Best Practices

So, there is probably a really good way to do the thing that you need to do. Others have done it before, I’m sure, and you can get a lot from their experience.

You can research the best way to do this thing, you can rely on your own experience or you can ask a friend.

In my experience, I find that relying on my own best practices, for that thing or other similar things I’ve done before, is the best way to get a satisfactory result.

If I think about the way I like to do things, the way the best things have worked out for me, I find that there aren’t really an unlimited way to do things…

So, do something, see how it feels when it’s done, redo it, and go from there.

The best way to practice, is to practice.