Dr. Phil

I love the simplicity of Dr. Phil’s primary question,

“how’s that working out for you?”.

Really, how’s are your decisions impacting your life?

We make lots of decisions, chose to go right or left, stay home or go out, send the runner or play it safe…yet we often think that the things that happen to us are random.

It’s not a knock on you to ask how it’s going, it’s simply an honest ask. What’s your current situation and how do you feel?

How are things going for you? What’s “working out” in your favor, and what seems to be holding you back.

Ask. Ask again. Be honest.

Something is Gonna Change

You might as well be on the change train since you know it’s going to happen.

Look for the bumps as well as the forks in the road, prepare to zig even when you expect to zag.

Nothing stays the same regarding systems, processes or outcomes.

You can make intentional changes, or the unexpected might happen.

Prepare all of “you”, your levels of resilience as well as the level of detail of your planning. Being ready doesn’t just mean having an emergency plan, it means having the peace of mind that you can face any option.

Everything Is 'All In Your Head'

I got stuck in traffic and that made me mad.

That player isn’t working hard and that’s why I’m being a jerk to everyone else.

The sunrise made me happy.

Nope. It’s your brain at work, doing so many magical things on the inside.

There’s no “making” you feel anything.

Simply by recognizing that how you feel is not the other guys’ issue and owning the ability to not feel that way (no one is saying it’s easy) is powerful.

Working to recognize when you feel badly, or guilty, or stressed or any other sort of upset and embracing those feelings rather than pushing them away may help bring them down a couple of notches.

Why Not Accountability?

I think that ID’ing and owning, defining and providing others clarity on one’s core values is really important. An organization can move forward, with its people on the same mission, when the central ideas are clear.

I don’t think “accountability” should be one of them.

Once your values and expected behaviors are articulated, then accountability comes into play.

Are you doing what you said you would?

That’s accountability – it’s an outcome, not a seed to be planted. It’s an expectation, but not a behavior in an of itself.

Lifesaver

The idea that something “saved your life”…

Is living simply not being dead? Really, I’m asking.

If someone or something–a drug or a good samaritan–came upon you just in the nick of time to keep you from death, you’re life has been saved.

But what then?

“Living well” means a variety of things to various people and societies. I think we all should think more intentionally about what good living is for us and set out to achieve those things.

Just showing up each day is too easy and holds opportunity costs. We, I, can do more.

The Gap

What’s possible? If you got your act together, what could it look like?

You have enough time, energy, excitement and people on your side… what could you get done.

What’s really in the way?

Try what you tell your kids…act as if…

Act like you have nothing to lose (really, what do you have to lose?), even nothing to gain aside from whatever it is that’s around the corner on your way to possible.

That’s the only act you need to have together.

RSG!

Problem solving

Most situations are not like arithmetic. Here there are right answers that can fairly easily be deduced. 2 + 3? Easy.

These types of problems are not interesting, and won’t stimulate you or your organization to move toward “better”.

It’s the interesting problems that move us along; it’s the noodling on things is really where the work gets done.

How often have you started to think or talk (usually we’re talking more than thinking) about one topic and come out the other side making moves about something completely different. It’s the process of consideration that makes the difference.

So, by taking problems away from people and offering easy solutions or giving away answers without asking for any work we’re doing a disservice to the world.

Ask hard questions of yourself and those around you and watch how the thinking makes progress.

Exit Row

When you sit in the exit row on a plane you are required to give a verbal commitment.

You commit, by agreeing out loud, to do all you can to help the entire set of passengers get out in case of an emergency.

When you say “yes”, you’re saying, “I’m prepared to be a leader,” and to do what the 143 or 175 or 300 others need you to do, according to the specific instructions.

The others are on your team. You’re sharing an experience and have the same set of guidelines. For the duration of the flight you are a team.

As a leader your get some more leg room. That’s it. It may or may not be worth it. And even if you’re in the middle in the last row, the flight will be better if you are on board with the rules of being on board.

Being vs doing

What do you do?

It’s a question many of us ask and get asked all the time. How do you answer?

Do you say, “I plan practices,” or “I read and sometimes respond to incredible numbers of emails”?

As a coach you likely say some version of “I’m the _____ coach at ______,” or “I coach [insert sport here]”. That sounds like who you are more than what you do. Which is it?

Do you care about the difference?

Saying, “I create the conditions in which people and teams learn to inspire others with action and empathy,” seems a bit much…but that’s a great thing to be. It’s who I am, I am the one who builds such a set of conditions.

There’s a lot to DO, but I’d rather BE.