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Fear of Not Missing Out

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Who’s missing, and who’s not? There is FOMO, Fear of Missing Out, and there is reverse FOMO…the idea that you’re doing something great, and someone is missing it.

When you wonder why people don’t want to do what you’re doing. When you invite someone and they decline. Do you worry about those people too much and not enjoy yourself as much as you could?

Our obsession with the past and the future, our challenge to enjoy who we are and who we are with at this moment, to be satisfied, period. It’s so easy to get excited about the things our future self is going to do, or to reminisce of times gone by. It’s somehow harder to just enjoy. THIS IS GREAT!, right now, is good enough.

Take time to enjoy those who are there, with you, to make the most of your moment and save your emotional energy for those missing for the next time you see them.

It’s ok for “it” to be less than perfect.

Future Self

Be in the present! Have gratitude for the things and relationships you have. Slow down, enjoy the moment…these are the messages being tossed our way all the time.

What is the present if not prep for the future, or a different present yet to come?

Planning, expecting, being excited for a future time is an important part of being. Of being in the now.

Who will you be when you get that job or step to the plate in the game? What will your mental state be? Your skills and tools? Will you be prepared to employ the lessons learned? How do you plan to teach yourself those lessons? When?

Being able to show the world who you will be in the future is an important part of being in the now. Future relationships aren’t interested in who you are now, they want to know what’s gonna happen when…do you have a plan?

Swaddling Teams

People in cultures from all corners of the world swaddle their infants. They wrap them tightly in material so that the baby is constrained yet comfortable.

Arms tight to their sides, just their face clear for breathing, the child is soothed by the containment. It’s like a long-term hug, the comfort of being right where they are and their brains not having to consider much outside the swaddling material.

Entire teams can be swaddled, comforted by the feeling of being surrounded by known people, expectations and norms. Being accepted by those around you and understanding the clear rules and standards of a team offers the comfort of familiarity even if circumstances or relationships are challenging, or may sometimes feel personally constraining.

Are your team members given wide-open freedom to do what they think they should do or are they guided–gently but surely–by the comfort of clear team standards?

Is your way working?

No Expiration Date

Have you ever read an article or looked at some notes from long ago and thought “wow, this is really pertinent to me today,”?   Are you surprised when that happens? Don’t be. People have been having good ideas (even you!) for a long time…and good ideas generally don’t expire. If they were good then they likely can work now.

We spend so much time thinking of new and improved ways to do things when perhaps we should consider tweaking things we’ve done or thought to do before.

Innovate, yes, but also look back, steal and modify the great ways of getting things done that you’ve learned about and practiced already.

Info Overload

We are flooded with information.  There are so many great books, articles, journals, lectures, videos and other material produced by smart, experienced and successful coaches and leaders in all areas that it’s easy to get overloaded by others’ thoughts and tactics.

We need to take action!  Develop your own strategies (feel free to steal them, but make them your own at the same time) and clarify your voice and ideas.  Consider what’s important to you and then get to work executing those plans.  Just like you tell your people: it’s ok to fail.  Get to work determining where you’d like to go and how you think it’s best to get there.  Devise an action plan and GO!

One In A Row

Consistency is tough to achieve.  Doing things the right way over and over, getting up and getting to work, assessing and revising, challenging yourself and your team regularly…are not easy to achieve.

Systems of performance make these things easier. Knowing what you’re going to do (and having your subordinates always knowing what’s next) to move yourself and your program forward today is a great step toward both productivity and effectiveness.  Plan your work…

On the other hand, when you fail at consistency there’s always a chance to restart–either execute more effectively or devise a new system–and one in a row is an ok place to be.

GO.

Believe in Team

Do you believe in the concept of Team?  This is a good question to ask yourself (of course!) as well as those whom you consider to be members of your team(s).  The whole being greater than the sum of the parts.  This is a general definition of team; and each person in the group needs to really understand what that means for a team to work.

Human nature leads to me-first attitudes.  TEAM means resisting this at times, and it’s a coach’s job to illustrate the need for TEAM in order to accomplish goals, just as it is to help kids learn to put themselves second to the team.  Simple, but not easy.

Before you can develop TEAM, or team players, even, you should, Coach, confirm that everyone believes it’s a good idea.

Go.