I love the simplicity of Dr. Phil’s primary question,
“how’s that working out for you?”.
Really, how’s are your decisions impacting your life?
We make lots of decisions, chose to go right or left, stay home or go out, send the runner or play it safe…yet we often think that the things that happen to us are random.
It’s not a knock on you to ask how it’s going, it’s simply an honest ask. What’s your current situation and how do you feel?
How are things going for you? What’s “working out” in your favor, and what seems to be holding you back.
Ask. Ask again. Be honest.
You might as well be on the change train since you know it’s going to happen.
Look for the bumps as well as the forks in the road, prepare to zig even when you expect to zag.
Nothing stays the same regarding systems, processes or outcomes.
You can make intentional changes, or the unexpected might happen.
Prepare all of “you”, your levels of resilience as well as the level of detail of your planning. Being ready doesn’t just mean having an emergency plan, it means having the peace of mind that you can face any option.
So often I hear people complain about their poor time management skills. First, this is a personal problem.
Why complain about something that’s 100% in your control? Even if time management were a thing, why wouldn’t one work to make their skills better rather than spend time complaining about them?
So I’m on a crusade to make the phrase be self-management rather than time management.
I got stuck in traffic and that made me mad.
That player isn’t working hard and that’s why I’m being a jerk to everyone else.
The sunrise made me happy.
Nope. It’s your brain at work, doing so many magical things on the inside.
There’s no “making” you feel anything.
Simply by recognizing that how you feel is not the other guys’ issue and owning the ability to not feel that way (no one is saying it’s easy) is powerful.
Working to recognize when you feel badly, or guilty, or stressed or any other sort of upset and embracing those feelings rather than pushing them away may help bring them down a couple of notches.
Lots of people are talking about presence and being fully in the place where you actually are.
I once heard Ellen Degeneres comment something like, “If your body is doing something, your brain ought to be in on it.”
I call it being where your feet are.
And, it’s becoming harder to do, to truly focus on one thing at a time, so the old standby intentionality comes into play as the main event.
Intent to be attentive can be a struggle for me, but I’m thankful for the continued chances to improve at it.
I think that ID’ing and owning, defining and providing others clarity on one’s core values is really important. An organization can move forward, with its people on the same mission, when the central ideas are clear.
I don’t think “accountability” should be one of them.
Once your values and expected behaviors are articulated, then accountability comes into play.
Are you doing what you said you would?
That’s accountability – it’s an outcome, not a seed to be planted. It’s an expectation, but not a behavior in an of itself.
The idea that something “saved your life”…
Is living simply not being dead? Really, I’m asking.
If someone or something–a drug or a good samaritan–came upon you just in the nick of time to keep you from death, you’re life has been saved.
But what then?
“Living well” means a variety of things to various people and societies. I think we all should think more intentionally about what good living is for us and set out to achieve those things.
Just showing up each day is too easy and holds opportunity costs. We, I, can do more.
What’s possible? If you got your act together, what could it look like?
You have enough time, energy, excitement and people on your side… what could you get done.
What’s really in the way?
Try what you tell your kids…act as if…
Act like you have nothing to lose (really, what do you have to lose?), even nothing to gain aside from whatever it is that’s around the corner on your way to possible.
That’s the only act you need to have together.
Adults trying new things are a lot like babies learning to walk…stand up, fall down, reach for something to lean on, fall down again…sometimes your legs just wave in the air because you can’t even roll over to try again.
But, you do. They do. Roll over, stand up, fall down…
Some can essentially do a push up before they stand up. How cool is that?
Eventually, most babies get moving, on their feet.
What’s your method?
So. Many. Distractions.
So many good ideas all around us.
So many people have thought of so many things one could do, or say, or even be! How can we possibly keep up?
Start by writing your own stuff. Just think, then write. Then revise, and write some more.
Even if you don’t want to write…start with the thinking. If you did have your own system, your own great ideas, what would they be?